slow.

 Christmas is quickly approaching and I feel as if I've missed the boat.  Really.  I mean, I've had a really had a tough year physically.  I feel as though I've been in a fog, and here we are just days before Christmas.  I've got a list of things to do in just a few days and I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around it.

Last summer, I thought that I would enjoy the Slow movement .  I longed for connection.  I wanted my kids to feel the connection to the land, the people, our food.  And somewhere along the road I lost sight of this.  I don't know if it was my physical illness, or that life just got busy.  I'm uncomfortable, I feel like everything is moving at warp speed.  I feel like I'm really missing out.  I have the desire to slow down, to see and feel moments for all that they can bring and give to me.

Slow down.  Listen to the water splashing on the shoreline, the boats in the Strait, the kids asking me to come with them outside.  The wind blowing through the trees, the neighbors chickens, ducks, and goats chattering.  Feel the sun on my face, the kids blowing kisses, and the grass in between my toes.  I need to slow down and focus on being still.

I'm going to learn meditation.  I always thought that I knew how to do this, but little did I know exactly what meditation is.  I can't sit still for two minutes, let alone ten.  I can't not focus on anything, my mind is constantly running.  I need to slow down.  I need to try a be in the present with a clear mind and focus on the silence, the   silence is a killer.  That's where I fall.  I have learned that meditation is not self learned.  You need guidance, I have found someone who wants to guide me in meditation.  Yeah!  I'm ready.

I am looking forward to Christmas, albeit a busy holiday for us, I'm going to focus on the moments.  As each one comes.  I'm going to enjoy now and not rush to what's next.  I'm going to slow down.

peace and happy holidays to you all!